I can dance like Ian Curtis. That much I can do.

I'm watching "Control"... Wonderful film. Something to watch side-by-side with "24-Hour Party People". I'll take it as a given that Miss Ginny at ginny_mccoo has seen "Control". A girl with green eyes told me the other night how much she liked the film. When we first talked about "Control", I think I thought she was talking about the Hungarian film "Kontroll"--- something else I liked. But I do like "Control"--- a lot.

The girl who plays Annik Honore in "Control" is so beautiful...

I must ask Liz V. at nightmareteeth about a fashion question. That sort of 3/4-length coat worn by Mod kids--- what's it called? Not a British Warm, is it? Is it a covert coat? What's the correct name?

The first time I heard of Joy Division... I bought the "Unknown Pleasures" album on vinyl when I was a very small little long-eared desert hedgehog. I was young and just discovering new music. I can't recall if I'd heard of Joy Division before. I may have bought the album just because of the cover art. But when I heard "Love Will Tear Us Apart" and "She's Lost Control" for the first time, I was just stunned. Miss Ginny writes about growing up listening to the Buzzcocks and Joy Division and how much it all meant to her. I know exactly what she means.

I hadn't heard Joy Division do "Warsaw" until this spring. Something I got from Lissy at emigree, via her WaterColorFire tracklists at LastFM. I wonder when Lissy first heard Joy Division, and what it meant to her when she was a girl in Wilkes-Barre. There's a whole era that I miss, a whole era of discovering new music and feeling the world open up around me--- New Haven, New York, Vienna, dance clubs and underground art. You have no idea how much I miss that feeling of a world opening up.

The world feels claustrophobic and stifling tonight. I'll never travel again. As much as I need to be in NYC or Savannah or Montreal this autumn, I'll never have anyone to travel with again. I can watch "Control" and watch Ian Curtis' ending and wonder if Japanese Bulimia is the way everything will end here.

I miss Kelsey at clush. I miss her tastes in music and I miss her thoughts on life and books and ideas. I miss her Stories.

"Control" is something I really do want to recommend. Go rent it. Do that--- and tell me about the film and what you think.

Ian Curtis would be what now? Fifty-two, I think. I listened to New Order once upon a time--- spent long nights dancing to New Order. Lacey told me once that she thought New Order would be a band she could listen to when she was forty and not be ashamed of having liked them. I will have to ask her about that. Ian Curtis at fifty-two... If he'd lived, would he still be singing? How would his music have changed?

Listening to "Transmission" and "New Dawn Fades"... I do wish I could be traveling to Manhattan or Montreal next month, that I could have a girl find me worth seeing amid autumn city nights. I suspect that no one will ever want to do the Chelsea Waltz with me.

I have no idea if there are copies of "Revolver, Dauphin" #6 available out there. Did Lissy at emigree ever finish it and release it? I'll never know. Miss Ginny at ginny_mccoo once wrote me that after reading back entries at _iwenthome and emigree and anatomyoflovers she thought Miss Lissy would make a brilliant best friend and companion-in-arms. I agree, of course. I just wonder if I'll ever get to read "Revolver, Dauphin" #6...and #4, for that matter. I appeared as a character in #5, but I don't know if ever I'll get to read Nr. 6.

I can dance like Ian Curtis. That much I can do.

There's a girl somewhere in the Southern night right now with whom I really want to talk about "Control". There's a girl somewhere in the province of Quebec tonight with whom I should be talking about music and books and running away to see Alamut and Tuva--- a girl who should bring a white lace minidress with her and come marry me in Savannah.

There's no one out there on the aether tonight.

Is it a covert coat? Is that what it's called--- from the coverts where pheasant hunters waited? Is that the Mod 3/4-length coat? Who can tell me?

I can dance like Ian Curtis. That I can do. I just don't want to end up like him.