"O Brother, Where Art Thou" is on cable tonight. I'd meant to watch "Lust, Caution", but how can I not watch "O Brother"--- my favourite Coen Bros. film?

I went to a Szechuan buffet tonight--- rare enough for me to do. It takes a positive act of will to get myself out of the flat after I come home from work. I tell myself that it's because I don't want to lose a covered parking spot, but it's really a kind of spiritual exhaustion. Gas is $3.85 a gallon, of course--- but it's just that I can't think of anything to do that would engage my attention. Anything worth doing really needs a companion--- some mythical tall, leggy, clever, wicked girl in a tiny skirt there at my side.

I did note an article today as a link from one of the hipper sex blogs--- an article about traveling with one's vibrator. The article ran through a checklist of issues--- dealing with Homeland Security, whether to put the vibrator in checked luggage, dealing with voltage converters overseas, where to get batteries overseas. I'd seen other articles on the same topic, and I seem to recall Debauchette doing a post about her preferred travel vibrators. There's a clear gender difference here, of course. Girls can write all about vibrators--- comaprisons, reviews, advice. No hapless Male would ever do an article about traveling with an Inflatable Love Doll, let alone an artificial vagina. No article about that issue would ever appear on anything outside of some Creepy Otaku Perv site...or maybe as a joke at something like Tucker Mack's site. Any female twentysomething or thirtysomething professional would find instant support if the TSA goons confiscated her vibrator or made fun of her in the security check line. Any self-respecting thirty-ish woman would be able to get a feminista lawyer and start suing the airline and Homeland Security. Any Male found with an Inflatable Love Doll (or, worse--- the Inflatable Love Sheep) could be humiliated in public with impunity, and he'd certainly be denied entry to most European countries as a vile perv. A "Sex and the City" girl could raise a public outcry on both sides of the Atlantic if British or German customs harassed her over a vibrator; a Male would be mocked in both countries.

I first thought about that when Lacey told me about staring down some poor German customs agent over the vibrator in her luggage. The poor lad was speechless with embarassment and just vaguely pointed at her opened suitcase, and Lacey gave him a crisp, sharp, crushing rebuke in both German and English. Lacey was never, ever ashamed or abashed by anything sexual. That was true at fifteen, and it's true now.

Girls of course can do that. I'd love to see Stella at stelladellasera or Caitlin at kissmecaitlin or Ms. cataplexis or Lissy at emigree just rake over the coals any TSA goon or customs agent unlucky enough to say something about finding a vibrator in their luggage. I'm sure both Umi at ivich and Tiff at vanity_overkill could do the same. Ms. Flox at besideserato would end up with a six-figure settlement and a public apology from the disgraced head of TSA...

[I do wonder...what would Delighted at Diaryland do? Or Selena at Atwowaydream?]

But any Male discovered with an Inflatable Love Doll would be well-advised to just do seppuku with a fountain pen on the spot. It would be far less humiliating and painful than what the petty officials and any mocking passers-by would do.

Female indulgence in the Solitary Vice, like female skinny-dipping or female sleeping naked, is regarded as sexy and "empowering". Any Male doing the same things is instantly and permanently tagged as pathetic, vile, contemptible, and perved-out.

Now...do any of my lovely readers and correspondents have their own Stories of travel with a vibrator? I'd love to hear any stories... Which is one way of saying that I don't seem to be attracting comments and exchanges of thoughts these days--- and certainly no voices on the aether.

There at dinner tonight I noticed more than a few people in t-shirts with religious slogans. Some church group may have gone to the buffet, but still... Despite living much of my life in the Deepest South, I'm still amazed by the religiosity around me. I do know that all through high school and university, I took it for granted that religion would slowly die out in the civilised world, that it would be a kind of historical artifact. I've never been a believer, and I've never understood how or why anyone could believe. I love cathedral architecture, Latin Mass, the old-style Book of Common Prayer, and ecclesiastical vestments and High Church ritual. But I don't believe in any of the points in the Nicene Creed, and none of my friends growing up or at university did, either. We weren't even atheists--- we were just completely void of anything religious or spiritual. We were more indifferent to religious claims than anything else. Atheism was self-evidently correct, but it took more effort to assert than the fight was worth. At seventeen or eighteen I took it for granted that intelligent people were non-religious, and that religion would exist in the new century only as a kind of performance art and a reason to learn Latin. But I'm living in a country where people believe in hovering angels and in creationism. Catholic schoolgirls in panty-free plaid mini-kilts, yes. Lovely girls masturbating with crucifixes, yes. Sex on cathedral altars, yes. Latin Mass, yes. Jesuits trained to do exorcisms--- of course. But religion as an excuse for public policy--- or abstinence ---never.

Ms. Chang tells me that she has no problem traveling with vibrators. She's never liked vibrators as such. Ms. Chang tells me that the noise is distracting and the batteries never last. And Ms. Chang is appalled at the prices of high-end vibrators. My God, Libet always says--- $129.99 for a vibrator? A Corona costs $2.50, and you get the beer as well as the bottle...

Well...going through Edinburgh customs with an Inflatable Love Sheep shouldn't be a problem. The Scots would just assume you were a honeymoon couple.

Now some men go for women
And some men go for boys.
But my love's warm and beautiful
And makes a baaaa-ing noise...

Or so the Scots Wedding Song goes.

I had to agree with Debauchette's entry today about "Secret Diary of a Call Girl". The opening episode didn't have anything the wicked humour I was hoping for, and the girl who was the lead wasn't even naked. It's going to be a long wait 'til the new "Dexter" and the third season of "The Tudors".

Ioana at winterbymorning will be going to Spain and France this summer, and my understanding is that she'll be taking a vibrator or two. Again--- it still amazes me that girls can indulge in the Solitary Vice and have it regarded as hot and stylish, whereas male sexuality in general and the male Solitary Vice in particular are regarded as contemptible and pathetic.

There's a solution out there, but it does involve the deaths of many staffers at Jezebel.com and various Women's Studies departments and a series of clues linking the killings firmly to Jimmy Smits and Dr. Drew Pinsky. After all--- Jimmy Smits and Dr. Drew are known minions of the vile, unhuman Andaman Islanders...