"Like a blind man and a deaf man fighting over the sound red makes..."

I really do like that line. You just don't get a lot of synaesthesia allusions these days.

Well, we at De Guzman House break our eggs on the little end, and we know with great certainly that red makes a slow baritone hum.

Okay, yes: Lilliput/Blefuscu egg-end references. Though I will ask--- Lilliput's an easy reference to get, but...Luggnagg? Who ever reads Swift far enough in to get to the Struldbrugs? As a De Guzman of Hokkaido, mind you, I'm partial to Gulliver's account of the island of Luggnagg and the Struldbrugs. After all--- he did visit there on his way to Japan, Luggnagg being but a hundred leagues to the southeast. Though...southeast of Kyushu, or, as we at De Guzman House like to think, southeast of Ezo? One likes to think of Gulliver ashore not at Deshima, but at Hakodate in the days of the Matsumae.

Five Things That (Alas!) I'm Unlikely Ever To Get To Say---

1. "Why, Ms. Vodianova, you're not wearing anything under that trenchcoat!"

2. "Good morning--- my name is De Guzman, and my topic for my first day teaching here at Columbia will be..."

3. "Why, Mischa! Whatever are you and Blake doing in my bedroom?"

4. "Talk, Mr. Bond? I don't expect you talk, I expect you to die."

5. "Two tickets to Tokyo--- first class, De Guzman and...companion."

And of course... Five Things That I'm Unlikely (Alas!) Ever To Hear---

1. "Ms. Lively to see you, Dr. de Guzman. And she's in that uniform skirt again."

2. "Eduardo-kun, it's Ginny. I'm at your complex gate, and I have the plane tickets."

3. "We'd be honoured to publish this, De Guzman-san, and send you on your next research trip."

4. "You are requested and required by their Lordships of the Admiralty to proceed at once to Portsmouth, there to hoist your flag as a Vice-Admiral of the Blue aboard HMS---."

5. "I love you, Evil Older Predator..."

I did notice the little Hello Cthulhu stufflings carrying a stack of University of Michigan sweatshirts up to the invisible upper floors of my flat. I asked them what they were doing and they chirped that the shirts were all going to be collectible and rare...now. Before I could say anything, another little Hello Cthulhu stuffling raised a pencil and asked if he'd spelled "xenolith" correctly. He seemed to be taking notes from a book on metamorphic rocks. Hmmm... I really, really have to sit down with the little Hello Cthulhu stufflings and have a long talk about things they shouldn't be doing.